WORST WAY TO WAKE UP. EVA.

A) Home invasion
B) Escaped ferret near tender naked bits
C) Park bench being moved on by the cops
D) Perky Republicans

I choose D.

This morning, picture it if you will. Sun is shining, the snow glinting, us sleeping in.

ME- played by ME
Perky Republican: played by polite young women who one day may see the light.

ME: zzzzzzzzzzz
bring bring bring (mobile ringing)
ME: huh snaaahg
PR:Is this Coz?
ME: hugaddle
PR: Is this Coz?
ME: yeah
PR: Hi I'm representing the Republican party, and now Hilary Clinton has announced she is running for the Democrats, we must start the campaign to destroy those fem nazis, gay lovin, war hatin, liberal pinkos and.....
ME: umm I'm not a citizen so I can't vote, but if I could I'd vote Democrat.
PR: Oh ok, sorry to bother you, Have a nice day
Hangs up
ME: What?! How the hell did the Republicans get my number?? I've only had the phone for a week and used it twice. Jeezbus!
ROB: zzzzz...ughhale..snert


I got my Green Card now. Its not really green and I am totally disappointed and rethinking the whole shebang. It says 'Permanent Resident", no mention of Aliens at all. Whats the point!! Mike said he got to be a 'Legal Alien' so they must have changed it. pfft BIG POUT!






Went with Mike to his mates place to watch some football game last night. Everyone was excited, lots of armoured dudes ran around running in to each other, Prince got up to sing in a loverly char womans scarf.
The Indianapolis Colts won 29-17 crushing the Chicago Bears.
I drunk beer and noticed how tight and shiny the pants were.


Now all I need to complete my American experience is godbotherers sniffing around and telling me I'll burn in hell for reading Harry Potter. Can't wait.





don't